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Article:
| Psychology Today
A new dating book examines the role of ingrained gender roles and old dynamics in today',s romantic landscape. Do Men Actually Not Want to Date Intelligent Women? A series of studies ask how far men and women have progressed.
Click here for i need a lady to date
Posted February 14, 2018 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma. Each year, Match.com releases data on American singles (not just those on Match.com), which the media gobbles up immediately. With nearly half of the American population over age 18 identifying as single/dating, marriage trends make for great headlines. But the 2015 Singles in America study came with particularly heavy fanfare from women's magazines. I still remember when this piece of research hit my desk, and I leaned forward a little bit in my chair to read its seemingly feminist ink. After looking into the mating preferences of more than 5,000 men and women by way of survey, researcher and biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D., writes that we are seeing a Clooney Effect" in this country — a nod to the recent marriage of America's favorite bachelor, actor George Clooney, to human rights lawyer Amal Alamuddin. According to Fisher's numbers, men desire smart, strong, successful women, 87 percent of men said they would date a woman who was more intellectual than they were, who was better educated, and who made considerably more money than they did, while 86 percent said they were in search of a woman who was confident and self-assured. Plenty of articles around the web followed, saying this was a win for women (and men, too), but there I was in early 2015, reading those headlines with an eyebrow raised and an air of skepticism. I am lucky to be surrounded by some brilliant women — verifiable “catches.” Gorgeous women my guy friends always ask me about. I have also watched these same smart, independent women struggle in bad relationships or fly solo for extended periods of time, despite their best efforts to land a good guy. So, what did this mean? If 87 percent of men were actively looking to couple with them, why were they still single? Plus, the ladies of my friend circle who were actually in healthy relationships did not exactly fit the description laid out by Fisher. Although they were super smart and attractive in their own right, the perpetually matched in my sphere did not fit a clear-cut profile, and I would not automatically group them into the same category as very career-oriented, put-together Amal. Clearly, they had some secret sauce of attraction, but what? I wasn’t sure. I began floating casual questions by the guys in my life to try to gain a better understanding: “So, like, what’s your type?” (I was breezy about it, I swear.) As one of my male friends put it, the general consensus was: “The smarter and more successful, the better! There are no limits.” I’d then hear about a doctor, nearing 30, who was about to give up on dating, because she didn’t feel like men valued her brains. So now I was confused by the research, the real-life relationships around me, and the response from men — gaps, gaps, gaps between all these pieces that seemingly did not fit together. The Science of a Changing Landscape. I finally did what any skeptical journalist would do: I kept my eyes open for more research. In late 2015, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, which had further clues into all the holes I was seeing firsthand in this new theory of dating. The study proposes this: Men like more intelligent women in theory — when they imagine them as romantic partners, or when they have psychological distance from them. However, when they actually have to interact with such a woman, something interesting happens. In the study of 105 men, researchers laid out several scenarios. In the first, they told men that “a woman down the hall,” whom they never saw, either outperformed or underperformed them on an intelligence test. Then they were told to imagine this woman as a romantic partner. Unsurprisingly, the guys more frequently desired the woman who outperformed them (#feminists). However, in the second round, men were given an intelligence test and then told that they were about to meet a woman who had bested them on the same exam. Ah, yes. The mythic smart, successful, beautiful woman every guy supposedly wanted. In the study, the men didn’t go after this awesome woman, according to lead researcher Lora Park, a professor in psychology at University at Buffalo. “When the woman was psychologically near — a real-life face-to-face interaction — men moved their chair further away from the woman, as an indicator of less interest in her, and reported less romantic attraction toward the woman when she outperformed versus underperformed him on a test,” she tells me. The way Park explains it, men only think they know what they want — or they know what they want in theory, not what they’d choose when put to the test IRL. “Men seem to be influenced less by their ideal partner preferences and more by their emotions or feelings at the moment,” she says.
I need a lady to date
Article:
| Psychology Today
A new dating book examines the role of ingrained gender roles and old dynamics in today',s romantic landscape. Do Men Actually Not Want to Date Intelligent Women? A series of studies ask how far men and women have progressed.
Click here for i need a lady to date
Posted February 14, 2018 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma. Each year, Match.com releases data on American singles (not just those on Match.com), which the media gobbles up immediately. With nearly half of the American population over age 18 identifying as single/dating, marriage trends make for great headlines. But the 2015 Singles in America study came with particularly heavy fanfare from women's magazines. I still remember when this piece of research hit my desk, and I leaned forward a little bit in my chair to read its seemingly feminist ink. After looking into the mating preferences of more than 5,000 men and women by way of survey, researcher and biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D., writes that we are seeing a Clooney Effect" in this country — a nod to the recent marriage of America's favorite bachelor, actor George Clooney, to human rights lawyer Amal Alamuddin. According to Fisher's numbers, men desire smart, strong, successful women, 87 percent of men said they would date a woman who was more intellectual than they were, who was better educated, and who made considerably more money than they did, while 86 percent said they were in search of a woman who was confident and self-assured. Plenty of articles around the web followed, saying this was a win for women (and men, too), but there I was in early 2015, reading those headlines with an eyebrow raised and an air of skepticism. I am lucky to be surrounded by some brilliant women — verifiable “catches.” Gorgeous women my guy friends always ask me about. I have also watched these same smart, independent women struggle in bad relationships or fly solo for extended periods of time, despite their best efforts to land a good guy. So, what did this mean? If 87 percent of men were actively looking to couple with them, why were they still single? Plus, the ladies of my friend circle who were actually in healthy relationships did not exactly fit the description laid out by Fisher. Although they were super smart and attractive in their own right, the perpetually matched in my sphere did not fit a clear-cut profile, and I would not automatically group them into the same category as very career-oriented, put-together Amal. Clearly, they had some secret sauce of attraction, but what? I wasn’t sure. I began floating casual questions by the guys in my life to try to gain a better understanding: “So, like, what’s your type?” (I was breezy about it, I swear.) As one of my male friends put it, the general consensus was: “The smarter and more successful, the better! There are no limits.” I’d then hear about a doctor, nearing 30, who was about to give up on dating, because she didn’t feel like men valued her brains. So now I was confused by the research, the real-life relationships around me, and the response from men — gaps, gaps, gaps between all these pieces that seemingly did not fit together. The Science of a Changing Landscape. I finally did what any skeptical journalist would do: I kept my eyes open for more research. In late 2015, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, which had further clues into all the holes I was seeing firsthand in this new theory of dating. The study proposes this: Men like more intelligent women in theory — when they imagine them as romantic partners, or when they have psychological distance from them. However, when they actually have to interact with such a woman, something interesting happens. In the study of 105 men, researchers laid out several scenarios. In the first, they told men that “a woman down the hall,” whom they never saw, either outperformed or underperformed them on an intelligence test. Then they were told to imagine this woman as a romantic partner. Unsurprisingly, the guys more frequently desired the woman who outperformed them (#feminists). However, in the second round, men were given an intelligence test and then told that they were about to meet a woman who had bested them on the same exam. Ah, yes. The mythic smart, successful, beautiful woman every guy supposedly wanted. In the study, the men didn’t go after this awesome woman, according to lead researcher Lora Park, a professor in psychology at University at Buffalo. “When the woman was psychologically near — a real-life face-to-face interaction — men moved their chair further away from the woman, as an indicator of less interest in her, and reported less romantic attraction toward the woman when she outperformed versus underperformed him on a test,” she tells me. The way Park explains it, men only think they know what they want — or they know what they want in theory, not what they’d choose when put to the test IRL. “Men seem to be influenced less by their ideal partner preferences and more by their emotions or feelings at the moment,” she says.
I need a lady to date